“Curves Are Not A Flaw” Is Your New Mantra

Goddess S is off gallivanting in Europe right now. Which means I’m here to maintain the blog alone as I wallow in my jealousy.

I’ve been going to the gym recently because I’ve noticed I’ve put on a few pounds. I’ve gone off and on for the past few years but this time I really want to stick with a reasonable diet and exercise regimen with realistic goals. As a person who’s had her bouts with eating disorders it’s very important I remind myself I’m doing this to be healthy and not undo the re-wiring of my brain I had to do to fix the “I have to be skinny to be happy” mindset.

Of course, that’s not always easy to do. So every once in a while I have to:

1) Avoid the models and ultra-thin actresses in the magazines and on television. A quick look at the ads but if I linger too long on the magazine pages I’ll get into that “I’ll never be as thin and beautiful as her” mood.

2) Keep reminding myself, “That is not healthy.” when I see someone super-skinny, and realize that is not a reasonable body goal.

3) Google Image Searches for beautiful actresses that are closer to my body shape.

Christina Hendricks of "Mad Men"

Jayne Mansfield

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marilyn Monroe

4) Replace all the negative adjectives for my body with positive, sexy-sounding ones: I’m not fat, I’m voluptuous. I don’t have big boobs, I have an ample bosom. (Goddess S thinks she has a big nose…I think it’s Romanesque.)

5) Realize that no matter how much I exercise and/or starve myself, I’m never going to look like whoever the latest “it-girl” is. I have a large body frame and even if I got down to 100 lbs, my huge-ass bones are going to stick out and I’ll never look like the sleek Kiera Knightly or Natalie Portman. The only person I can look like is me. I’m beautiful in my own way.

6) Remember we all think we’re flawed in some way. What I view as a flaw, someone else may covet and wish they had.


You Are Not A Freak, You Are Beautiful

1 the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with

I was on CNN.com today and came across an article about Chaz Bono called “I Don’t Doubt I Was Born This Way”.

For those of you who don’t know, Chaz was born to singers Cher and Sonny Bono as a girl they named Chastity. Growing up Chastity felt she was different and was more comfortable in boy clothes than dresses. When she realized she was attracted to girls, she figured she must be a lesbian, but still felt like she wasn’t “fitting in”. Recently Chaz got a sex change and now he’s living as a man.

Should be end of story, right?

I could not believe all the rude and outright hateful comments this article produced. I’m sorry, but this is 2011, and we should be past the ignorant intolerance by now. For every giant leap forward humanity makes, we still take two steps backwards. The internet was invented so the world could become smaller as we communicate and interact with people all over the world, but it just seems that people use (or abuse) said communication as a way to bully others behind the safety and anonymity of their computer screen.

I especially hated the comments that mocked what the article was about like, “Well, I don’t FEEL like going to work, but I still have to go,” or “Maybe I feel like a serial killer, that doesn’t make killing right.”

Firstly, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard; putting gay/lesbian/bi/transgendered people on the same level with serial killers. Secondly, if you decide you don’t FEEL like going to work, or FEEL like going out and killing someone, that’s wrong because you’re impacting and hurting another life. Being LGBT shouldn’t really effect anyone else but yourself and your partner. It’s really nobody else’s business.

If you are bothered by someone who’s LGBT, don’t hang around them if it bothers you so much. Quit telling them they need psychological help unless you plan on getting some too for being an asshole. You’re not going to “change their mind” by spouting a bunch of hate towards them and telling them their God hates them for being the way they were born.

That’s another thing: It irritates me when bible-thumpers bring God into all this. They say that all gay people will go to Hell because they “chose” that lifestyle. But I thought we were all God’s children? I thought God didn’t make mistakes. How can he hate something he created perfectly? If someone is going to Hell because they’re “not the way God intended”, then what about people that are born with severe disabilities? They can’t help being born with a deformity any more than a person can help being born gay or straight. I heard someone say, “Well, God has a plan for those people. He had a reason for creating them that way.” Well, if being gay is a “mental disorder” as some state, then God must have created them that way for a reason and he has a plan for them just as any of us. So if you have a problem with people being gay, maybe you should take it up with God.

You have the right to be who you are. As long as you’re not physically harming someone (or not showing up for work….you gotta get paid!), no one has the right to be all up in your business.

-Goddess H